On Playing Drums & Neurological Disorders

I imagine some may question how one could continue to play drums (a highly athletic endeavor) with a neurological disorder, and not be able to work.

During my leave of absence in 2007, I discovered 'Fibromyalgia', which certainly seemed to fit all the symptoms I had been experiencing, save perhaps the involuntary twitching. Still feeling like 10 pounds of shit stuffed inside a Dixie Cup after 8 weeks of resting and relaxing, I knew something was wrong. I went back to my neurologist at the time, who sent me to UCSF for a 2nd opinion. This doctor was a MS specialist who said this isn't MS, rather it is more 'Parkinsonian.' I went back to my regular neuro who sent me home on disability, and said I would start receiving treatment for Parkinson's. Health insurance issues prevented me from starting that treatment program until this year.

Going to a job is an 8 x 5 x 52 grind that is simply to overwhelming to even consider. I am almost constantly in fatigue and pain, usually requiring 10 hours of sleep per night. Attention to meds, CPAP maintenance, and other health issues (which can include inexplicable nausea and vomiting) chews up more time. Even if I was somehow able to drag my ass to work every day, I would not be able to give 100%, as evidenced by my work review of my last year at UCCR. I was on my way to being fired when I put in my notice. I could work part time, though, but State Disability Insurance prohibits that. I'll wait until those benefits run out before looking for work. (I may volunteer at Peace in Medicine in hopes of perhaps scoring a part time job there next year.)

Now I say I am almost constantly in fatigue and pain. On occasion, I will experience brief periods of time with little or no discomfort. A couple of hours during the day, on a good day. Maybe. If I stay lo-pro, well rested, and not stressed for a week or so, I may hit a stretch of a week or two where I will almost feel normal. Stress, teenage angst and drama, busy schedule of events in a short period of time, a hectic day of chores and fires to put out can all send me back into episodes of 'brain flu' or 'brain fog', chronic pain and fatigue all over again. Forgetting to take some of my meds is a serious reminder that something is most definitely amiss.

If I had been making my living playing drums in an average working, touring band for a living, well those days would be over. (Now if I had my own drum tech, maybe, but now we're moving past dreaming and into fantasizing! lol!)

I can play a 4 hour session and play well. (At least they haven't kicked me out of the band yet.) After such a session, I find myself completely wiped, needing extra rest for a couple of days. I would not be able to play rehearsals and shows on a regular basis, but I am still able to play. So I do. Wish I could do it more often, but that's the hand that was dealt me.

I am not the only drummer out there with Parkinson's or any other handicap, ftm. There is even a web site devoted to drummers with handicaps. As this disease progresses, if this disease progresses, I may turn to hand drums and percussion from the full kit. I will write more to tap into my creative vein. I have other artistic endeavors I wish to pursue, as well.

I say 'if this disease progresses.' I just received a copy of a letter from the UCSF 2nd opinion MS doctor to my original neurologist, (whom I have switched from because she does not accept Medi-Cal health coverage.) In it, she was questioning whether this actually is Parkinson's or not, while not offering a more definitive prognosis.

Well....Ohhh Kaaay. This is (may be?) a good thing? If it's not PD, then what? So then what? I have read that Effexor causes 'Parkinsonism', which presents similar to PD. Will I return to near normal after serious time away from it? I don't know. All I know is that I still feel like shit almost every day. I can get some stough done every day, but 8 hours of grinding for someone else? That just ain't gonna happen.

In any event, I would love to be playing drums every day, rehearsals evey week, and shows every month, but right now, that ain't gonna happen, either. I would trade the crud and the blue handicapped parking card that goes with it in for a normal job and life in a heartbeat!

Busy Year Ahead

I haven't been writing as much as I would have liked to. That is, outside of Fenway West, and even so, I have not been posting as much there, either. Adjusting to life sans the 8 x 5 x 52 grind is not the easiest thing to do. I didn't do a very good job of it last year, but at least I can blame Medi-Cal, Medi-Care, and Social Security issues that I had to deal with for the poor transition. The health insurance and public assistance issues have been mostly resolved, making it feel like I just shed a lead vest.

As much as I want to be writing more about the issues I listed in the sidebar (environment, baseball, overpopulation, hippies, jam bands, politics, neurological disorders, sex, religion, big money, pop culture, etc.), and I do have many thoughts and opinions on these topics, some controversial, I have not been able to harness them into cohesive essays as of yet.

The remainder of 2009 will see me attending to many health issues at UCSF (some already dealt with), getting Sierra graduated from high school in June and then moved in with her mother, (Thank Goddess! I love my daughter, but just like her mother, I can't live with her, they're too much alike! I just hope she leaves here with valuable lessons I've tried to teach her.) I have a 3 week trip to RI coming up this summer. I hope to get a number of objectives accomplished while there. There is my parents 65th anniversary celebration and family reunion for starters, photos of Mt. Hope Bay to be taken, baseball games at Fenway Park and McCoy Stadium to attend, old friends to catch up with, perhaps a Band of Brothers show or two (and in the 'Dave's Dreaming Again Department', perhaps a live guest appearance with them?! Joe, are you reading this? Is this even within the realm of possibility?)

Later this year, I will finally make the move to Sonoma County that I have been trying to make since as early as 1993. When I was married living in the East Bay and working in Marin, my ex was working for a supermarket that had a store in Rohnert Park. I wanted to move to Petaluma then, but marital difficulties dictated otherwise. Lived in Marin for several years, and finally had a brief 6 month stay in Petaluma, but could not find work up there at the time, so I returned to Marin. The company I was working for in 2005 moved from San Rafael to Petaluma. When the lease with housemate from hell expired that year, I was all set to move to Petaluma (finally!) when just shortly before I was to move there, my ex said Sierra has to come live with me. Well, I had been moved just before 8th grade, and we had already moved Sierra just before 7th grade, so I wasn't about to move her again, since I know first hand how difficult moves at that age can be. I got lucky and found a great, affordable rental, but as Sierra's graduation date draws nigh, I find myself scouring craigslist for affordable rentals in Sebastopol and monitoring falling rental rates so I can find another one of these elusive 'below-the-radar' affordable rentals.

OK, I digress. The point is, moving takes up a lot of one's time. I've been frantically trying to sell 'stough' that I do not want to schlep around with me any longer, (I rent, therefore, I move.) Have sold a number of items so far, and still need to get rid of more of that 'stough'; y'know, that 'stough' that you have no idea where it came from or why you still have it. There will be the requisite cleaning and repairing to get my deposit back. Yard sale, packing, moving...... Ugh, just the thought of it all is tiring.

One interesting development has arisen this year, perhaps a second, as well. Our band, Leadfoot Betty, and all band members seem to be very enthusiastic about playing music, playing well, and playing more often. We had a great session last month, let's hope we can follow up with another tomorrow. We had a great acoustic session here last week. Our new lead guitarist, Jimmy Brighton of the band Stackabones, has invited me to be the drummer in that band this summer when they go on tour in support of their forthcoming (4th? 5th?) CD later this year! Well don't I feel special! I never did think of myself as an 'accomplished' drummer, but apparently, others may think so. (Ah, special :-) The current drummer of that band is working with David Grisman and shan't be available for touring this year. Stackabones has also been known to perform as a 2-drummer band. If I haven't said it before, I'll say it now: I love playing in 2-drummer bands! (My favorite bands? Allman Brothers Band, Doobie Brothers, Grateful Dead, Max Creek, Pat Metheny Group, Little Feat, Jimmy Buffett & the Coral Reefer Band- all 2 drummer or multi-percussionist bands.) I need to find out Jimmy's definition of 'tour.' If he's talking about jumping in a bus and driving XC hitting dive bars along the way, no can do. But if we're talking about a tour schedule such as The Mystic one weekend, the HSMF another weekend, maybe The Catalyst another weekend; well, then we'll have a deal there!

Speaking of 2 drummer bands, there is a show that is seriously calling me! I just recently found out that the Doobie Brothers, The Allman Brothers Band, and The Grateful Dead will all be sharing the same stage on the same night at the Gorge Amphitheatre in WA. That would be one helluvan expensive show, but how could I not be there?!!

What's this? Romance?! Do I detect a hint of romance in the air?! It's been a while, so I can't be too sure, but those eternally hopeful and optimistic little bits that are left deep inside me seem to be astir....

That would be one most welcomed 'time consuming diversion'! (I don't want to jinx this, so I'm going to leave it alone until I know for sure just what this is I've been sensing lately. Whatever it is, it sure feels good!)

This year of 2009 looks pretty much booked. Lots to do and looking forward to getting all of that out of the way, and moved into a little affordable place in Sebastopol, playing music, writing, creating, loving, reconnecting, resting, and relaxing; things I have never been able to get nearly enough of over the years.

2010..... that will be the year. THE year.