walstib, ykwim?

What a long strange trip indeed:
RI -> FL -> RI -> MA -> RI -> CA -> TN -> CA -> ?
Horror stories from the past, to current trials and tribulations; from my takes on the environment, baseball, overpopulation, hippies, jam bands, politics, neurological disorders, sex, religion (yikes!), big money, and pop culture, to future speculations and musings on life after employment; with liberal amounts of sarcasm and dry humour on the side.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Rental Managers- I can help you

Excellent tenant now taking applications from rental property managers. If you have a rental home available, I can help you!

If you meet these qualifications, I will rent your home from you for many years and be the best tenant you ever had.

1- Amount of rent not to exceed $1/sq. ft.

2- No rent increases during the first two years of residency.

3- Rent increases after that will be limited to no more than 5% over a 2 year span, e.g. an $800 rental will remain at that amount for the first 2 years. After the 2nd year, rent may increase no more than $40 over the next two years.

4- Deposit amount no more than 1.5x rent, to be placed in an interest bearing account, interest reported quarterly to tenant.

5- 90 day notice required before lease expires to change terms or revert to month to month.

6- Move in date June 15th to July 1st.

7- References required. Please be able to supply the names and contact info of your last three tenants.

If you are looking for a tenant in this difficult market for your available 1 or 2 BR house in West Sonoma County (Sebastopol, Graton, Forestville, Guerneville, or Occidental) and can meet the qualifications stated, please respond to this post.

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