We all know at least one, probably several. I recently finished reading "The No Asshole Rule" by Robert Sutton, PhD, Stanford University. In it, he examines the various costs of having assholes as coworkers, or bosses, as well as ways to avoid hiring assholes, and what to do if you find yourself with an asshole coworker or boss. I then started to ponder about the assholes I have known in my lifetime.
I do need to mention that I don’t dwell on these scars from my past, aamof, I rarely think about them. After reading that book, I decided to recall who has caused me the most misery. They need to be recognized for the contributions they have made to my life! Assholes #’s 15 -> 9 are just run-of-the-mill assholes. Pains in my ass. Barnyard & Brennan at #8 is where it starts to get ugly. The top 5 are so heinous they get their own indiviual posts.
Honorable Mentions
15. Fred Shepherd
14. Reza Afshar
13. Anita Mann
12. Mike Carr (Any Mountain Mike Carr, not UCCR Mike Carr!)
11. Jeff ‘Jeff in Marin’ Walters
10. Earl Head
9. Two guys from Weed, CA @ KCNP
8. Kathy Parker Brown & Richard Wade
7. David Barnyard & Kathleen Brennan
6. Dee Bell & Gail Bell
The Top 5
5. Juan Gratten
4. Kathy Waitt
3. Bill Lynch (& SRA class of ’75)
2. Robin Cohn (& Grace Cohn)
1. Carrie Cummings
Honorable Mentions
Fred Shephard~ I found myself unemployed after spending 5 years at Any Mountain. Fred Shephard hired me about 3 months later to work in the accounting department of his computer rental business. He was not an easy man to work for, to say the least. I spent more time in sales than accounting. I split less than 30 days later. I normally like to give at least 2 weeks notice, but 3 & ½ days was all I could manage for this SOB.
I do need to mention that I don’t dwell on these scars from my past, aamof, I rarely think about them. After reading that book, I decided to recall who has caused me the most misery. They need to be recognized for the contributions they have made to my life! Assholes #’s 15 -> 9 are just run-of-the-mill assholes. Pains in my ass. Barnyard & Brennan at #8 is where it starts to get ugly. The top 5 are so heinous they get their own indiviual posts.
Honorable Mentions
15. Fred Shepherd
14. Reza Afshar
13. Anita Mann
12. Mike Carr (Any Mountain Mike Carr, not UCCR Mike Carr!)
11. Jeff ‘Jeff in Marin’ Walters
10. Earl Head
9. Two guys from Weed, CA @ KCNP
8. Kathy Parker Brown & Richard Wade
7. David Barnyard & Kathleen Brennan
6. Dee Bell & Gail Bell
The Top 5
5. Juan Gratten
4. Kathy Waitt
3. Bill Lynch (& SRA class of ’75)
2. Robin Cohn (& Grace Cohn)
1. Carrie Cummings
Honorable Mentions
Fred Shephard~ I found myself unemployed after spending 5 years at Any Mountain. Fred Shephard hired me about 3 months later to work in the accounting department of his computer rental business. He was not an easy man to work for, to say the least. I spent more time in sales than accounting. I split less than 30 days later. I normally like to give at least 2 weeks notice, but 3 & ½ days was all I could manage for this SOB.
Reza Afshar~ He was a snotty, cocky coworker at Any Mountain. AM was a chain of Bay Area ski shops. Afshar didn’t ski, he was a salesman. He wasn’t there because he liked the sport, he was there to sell and make commission. His general demeanor was that of a total pain in the ass, so much so, that someone once scribbled on the bathroom wall, “When you’re done, don’t forget to wipe your Reza.”
Anita Mann~ First of all, yes, that is her real name. She was my ex-grandmother-in-law. She was a mean, old, nasty, coarse, crusty bitch. Probably did need a man most of her life. Her daughter and granddaughter are high up on the list, pushing her down to honorable mention.
Mike Carr~ I worked with him at Any Mountain. He was a buttocks-clenching republican if ever there was one. We and 5 others carpooled together for 8 weeks. He insisted on driving, put Rush Limbaugh on the radio, and drove like a madman across the Golden Gate Bridge (the bridge with no median divider that has had more than its fair share of head on collisions.) We knew it was only temporary, but we did feel sorry for the last guy to get picked up every morning who had to sit up front with him because it was the only seat left.
Jeff ‘Jeff in Marin’ Walters~ This guy is a real buffoon. When I split up with my wife, I looked for a room to rent in Marin close to where I was working at the time. I answered his post for a room for rent and went to meet him and view the room. It was an older house, (the way I like them), door from bedroom to backyard, reasonable rent (relatively speaking.) We started to talk for a bit when he took a phone call. I looked at his CD collection as he was talking on the phone: Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, CSNY, Bonnie Raitt, Dire Straits… I think I could live here. Big mistake. Not huge, but still big. I don’t watch much TV, but I do like the Winter Olympics, which were being held shortly after I moved in. Later, I injured my shoulder so badly that I was not able to go to work for at least a week, or more. All he could say was, “Sheeze Dave, you sure do watch a lot of TV! You told me you didn’t watch that much TV!”, over and over and over again. Dude! WTF was I supposed to do with my arm in a sling?! He kept asking me what my plans were, over and over and over again. Was I moving? Was I staying? Fuck! I didn’t know! My marriage was just ending and I didn’t have a clue myself! It was like he wanted me to move out. He had this delusion that he would have two hot bi babes move in with him. Nice fantasy, but don’t talk about it every day as if you really expect that to happen. Even his GF at the time got on his case about chasing away a good housemate like me. He made a lot of remarkable statements, zingers would be a good term, that just left me astounded. I’ve forgotten just about all of them, but one does come to mind: He said the US should put gun turrets all along the Mexican border and just waste the illegals as they cross the border. I’m no fan of illegal immigration (I said ‘illegal’ immigration), but this was just a bit much. I finally had enough of this clown and decided to move. I had paid him $800 deposit and was expecting it back right away, as I had paid all my rent and utilities, and had caused no damage whatsoever to the room or house. The only problem was, he needed the deposit money from the person moving in behind me in order to pay me my deposit back! He used the deposit money I paid him to pay the tenant who moved out ahead of me! Asshole.
Earl Head~ He didn’t do anything to me personally. He was
just one of the local neighborhood kids when I was growing up. What he did do was pull a fast one on old man Garcia’s widow and conned her out of her (almost waterfront) house. He’s been living there for 25+ years and has just been letting it go to hell. He neglected to pay his property taxes. Subsequently, the town claimed the 2nd lot as payment for back taxes, and sold it to a developer who shoe-horned yet another house into the neighborhood. He littered the property with junk cars, trailers, and boats, which only recently have been towed away by the city. Not things you like to hear about the neighborhood you grew up in.
Two guys from
Weed, CA @ KCNP~ I was living in King’s Canyon National Park with my girlfriend at the time. I was seeking peace and quiet. I needed solitude and tranquility. I had recently been through a major cocaine episode, one that did a pretty good job of ruining my life up to that point. This part of KCNP is extremely remote, quite the opposite of Yosemite Valley. These two clowns partied most nights away, underage drinking, yelling, carousing to all hours of the night at the fire pit not far from out cabin, but much farther and out of earshot from the ranger’s cabins. I suppose their supervisors and the rangers deserve mention for not doing anything about them, but it’s these two bozos who I remember.
Kathy Parker Brown & Richard Wade~ After 5 jobs in 5 years, I found myself working at UCCR and enjoying it. KPB was my 3rd manager in less than 3 years at UCCR. I had just gotten caught up with everything (there was a *lot* of catching up to do) when she and RW conspired to throw the accounting department back into ruins again. I had finally gotten to a point where I felt comfortable with the work flow and the methods I employed to achieve that goal when all at the same time, she changed the accounting software we used, outsourced accounts payable, and cut my hours in accounting in half. The remaining hours were then spent in the reservations department (think sales, and I hate sales!) My initial reaction was positive. I thought it would be good to obtain a working knowledge of a different department. Then I realized that in the three years I had been there, RW had chased at least three women out of that department, cussing him out as they left. Donelle was the first. I thought she was a whiny space cadet, but only came to realize later that it was RW that was the problem. Jessica and Carrie came and went in much the same manner. He was finally permanently relieved of his position a year later after upper management finally got the nuts to can him. He was difficult to work for, to say the least, and cost me a good chunk of my normal, expected raise due to a lousy performance report. I eventually was put back in the accounting department full time after the outsourcing company made such a mess of things. KPB left the company, too.
David Barnyard & Kathleen Brennan~ I worked as office manager of the Corte Madera Any Mountain store for three years before moving into the accounting department in 1995. That year, AM opened three new stores, bought a bargain basement POS (point-of-sale, or piece-of-shit) cash register system, moved corporate headquarters 60 miles, and remodeled 3 existing stores all within a 6 month time frame, and then it didn’t snow! That sent AM into a financial tailspin that it eventually would not survive. I thrived in my new position! I absolutely loved not having to deal with surly customers (Some say they’re always right. I say they’re not, but they are always customers.) Unfortunately, revolving doors were installed in the controller’s office as well as the accounting department manager’s office. They came and they went. Coming and going, and going and coming, and always too soon. (Madeleine Kahn, RIP, in ‘Blazing Saddles’) I got along with all of them except for the last two, who did stick around. I could get along with almost everyone in this world (notable exceptions are on this list), but not these two. I felt as if I had been ignored for the first 18 months I was in that department, left to learn on my own, create my own systems, and do my job the way I figured out on my own. I did do my job, and I did it well, as my first 4 reviews would testify to. In a company of over 200 full time employees, I was one of the top 10 longest tenured employees, and I had been there less than 5 years! These two bozos came in and started to go over my work with a fine toothed comb and nit-picked everything I did. I was at the point of planning my departure from the company at the end of the winter. I wanted to get a few more ski days in, a few more vacation hours racked up, and as soon as that month with the three paychecks came around, I was out of there. They beat me to the quick and laid me off 2 fucking weeks before Christmas! Two days before my daughter’s birthday! How fucking cold was that?! The upside was that I was able to collect unemp
loyment and work under the table for a few weeks to make ends meet. Life moved on, but I could’ve stayed there for several more years had it been anyone else. All the good accountants took one look at the books and high-tailed it out of there before the other shoe dropped, but not these two. They even lured a woman from her long term job to be yet another supervisor over me. Turns out they canned her, too. And neither DB nor KB were there for very much longer. Go figure.
Dee Bell & Gail Bell~ My ex-sister-in-law (Dee) was such a pain in the ass! She lived with us for a while. She does not know any limits or boundaries. She took and took and took and never gave. Total hell. After several years of being divorced from her sister, she was again living with my ex and my daughter, openly smoking pot, drinking heavily, using other drugs, and making life miserable for all in that house. My daughter now lives with me, but I can see all too much of that bitch in my daughter. My ex-mother-in-law from hell (Gail) is not unlike her daughter, Dee, just worse. Mean, nasty, unhappy, and took it out on everyone around her. Both were major causes, (among others), to the demise of my marriage.
Anita Mann~ First of all, yes, that is her real name. She was my ex-grandmother-in-law. She was a mean, old, nasty, coarse, crusty bitch. Probably did need a man most of her life. Her daughter and granddaughter are high up on the list, pushing her down to honorable mention.
Mike Carr~ I worked with him at Any Mountain. He was a buttocks-clenching republican if ever there was one. We and 5 others carpooled together for 8 weeks. He insisted on driving, put Rush Limbaugh on the radio, and drove like a madman across the Golden Gate Bridge (the bridge with no median divider that has had more than its fair share of head on collisions.) We knew it was only temporary, but we did feel sorry for the last guy to get picked up every morning who had to sit up front with him because it was the only seat left.
Jeff ‘Jeff in Marin’ Walters~ This guy is a real buffoon. When I split up with my wife, I looked for a room to rent in Marin close to where I was working at the time. I answered his post for a room for rent and went to meet him and view the room. It was an older house, (the way I like them), door from bedroom to backyard, reasonable rent (relatively speaking.) We started to talk for a bit when he took a phone call. I looked at his CD collection as he was talking on the phone: Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, CSNY, Bonnie Raitt, Dire Straits… I think I could live here. Big mistake. Not huge, but still big. I don’t watch much TV, but I do like the Winter Olympics, which were being held shortly after I moved in. Later, I injured my shoulder so badly that I was not able to go to work for at least a week, or more. All he could say was, “Sheeze Dave, you sure do watch a lot of TV! You told me you didn’t watch that much TV!”, over and over and over again. Dude! WTF was I supposed to do with my arm in a sling?! He kept asking me what my plans were, over and over and over again. Was I moving? Was I staying? Fuck! I didn’t know! My marriage was just ending and I didn’t have a clue myself! It was like he wanted me to move out. He had this delusion that he would have two hot bi babes move in with him. Nice fantasy, but don’t talk about it every day as if you really expect that to happen. Even his GF at the time got on his case about chasing away a good housemate like me. He made a lot of remarkable statements, zingers would be a good term, that just left me astounded. I’ve forgotten just about all of them, but one does come to mind: He said the US should put gun turrets all along the Mexican border and just waste the illegals as they cross the border. I’m no fan of illegal immigration (I said ‘illegal’ immigration), but this was just a bit much. I finally had enough of this clown and decided to move. I had paid him $800 deposit and was expecting it back right away, as I had paid all my rent and utilities, and had caused no damage whatsoever to the room or house. The only problem was, he needed the deposit money from the person moving in behind me in order to pay me my deposit back! He used the deposit money I paid him to pay the tenant who moved out ahead of me! Asshole.
Earl Head~ He didn’t do anything to me personally. He was
just one of the local neighborhood kids when I was growing up. What he did do was pull a fast one on old man Garcia’s widow and conned her out of her (almost waterfront) house. He’s been living there for 25+ years and has just been letting it go to hell. He neglected to pay his property taxes. Subsequently, the town claimed the 2nd lot as payment for back taxes, and sold it to a developer who shoe-horned yet another house into the neighborhood. He littered the property with junk cars, trailers, and boats, which only recently have been towed away by the city. Not things you like to hear about the neighborhood you grew up in.Two guys from
Weed, CA @ KCNP~ I was living in King’s Canyon National Park with my girlfriend at the time. I was seeking peace and quiet. I needed solitude and tranquility. I had recently been through a major cocaine episode, one that did a pretty good job of ruining my life up to that point. This part of KCNP is extremely remote, quite the opposite of Yosemite Valley. These two clowns partied most nights away, underage drinking, yelling, carousing to all hours of the night at the fire pit not far from out cabin, but much farther and out of earshot from the ranger’s cabins. I suppose their supervisors and the rangers deserve mention for not doing anything about them, but it’s these two bozos who I remember.Kathy Parker Brown & Richard Wade~ After 5 jobs in 5 years, I found myself working at UCCR and enjoying it. KPB was my 3rd manager in less than 3 years at UCCR. I had just gotten caught up with everything (there was a *lot* of catching up to do) when she and RW conspired to throw the accounting department back into ruins again. I had finally gotten to a point where I felt comfortable with the work flow and the methods I employed to achieve that goal when all at the same time, she changed the accounting software we used, outsourced accounts payable, and cut my hours in accounting in half. The remaining hours were then spent in the reservations department (think sales, and I hate sales!) My initial reaction was positive. I thought it would be good to obtain a working knowledge of a different department. Then I realized that in the three years I had been there, RW had chased at least three women out of that department, cussing him out as they left. Donelle was the first. I thought she was a whiny space cadet, but only came to realize later that it was RW that was the problem. Jessica and Carrie came and went in much the same manner. He was finally permanently relieved of his position a year later after upper management finally got the nuts to can him. He was difficult to work for, to say the least, and cost me a good chunk of my normal, expected raise due to a lousy performance report. I eventually was put back in the accounting department full time after the outsourcing company made such a mess of things. KPB left the company, too.
David Barnyard & Kathleen Brennan~ I worked as office manager of the Corte Madera Any Mountain store for three years before moving into the accounting department in 1995. That year, AM opened three new stores, bought a bargain basement POS (point-of-sale, or piece-of-shit) cash register system, moved corporate headquarters 60 miles, and remodeled 3 existing stores all within a 6 month time frame, and then it didn’t snow! That sent AM into a financial tailspin that it eventually would not survive. I thrived in my new position! I absolutely loved not having to deal with surly customers (Some say they’re always right. I say they’re not, but they are always customers.) Unfortunately, revolving doors were installed in the controller’s office as well as the accounting department manager’s office. They came and they went. Coming and going, and going and coming, and always too soon. (Madeleine Kahn, RIP, in ‘Blazing Saddles’) I got along with all of them except for the last two, who did stick around. I could get along with almost everyone in this world (notable exceptions are on this list), but not these two. I felt as if I had been ignored for the first 18 months I was in that department, left to learn on my own, create my own systems, and do my job the way I figured out on my own. I did do my job, and I did it well, as my first 4 reviews would testify to. In a company of over 200 full time employees, I was one of the top 10 longest tenured employees, and I had been there less than 5 years! These two bozos came in and started to go over my work with a fine toothed comb and nit-picked everything I did. I was at the point of planning my departure from the company at the end of the winter. I wanted to get a few more ski days in, a few more vacation hours racked up, and as soon as that month with the three paychecks came around, I was out of there. They beat me to the quick and laid me off 2 fucking weeks before Christmas! Two days before my daughter’s birthday! How fucking cold was that?! The upside was that I was able to collect unemp
loyment and work under the table for a few weeks to make ends meet. Life moved on, but I could’ve stayed there for several more years had it been anyone else. All the good accountants took one look at the books and high-tailed it out of there before the other shoe dropped, but not these two. They even lured a woman from her long term job to be yet another supervisor over me. Turns out they canned her, too. And neither DB nor KB were there for very much longer. Go figure.Dee Bell & Gail Bell~ My ex-sister-in-law (Dee) was such a pain in the ass! She lived with us for a while. She does not know any limits or boundaries. She took and took and took and never gave. Total hell. After several years of being divorced from her sister, she was again living with my ex and my daughter, openly smoking pot, drinking heavily, using other drugs, and making life miserable for all in that house. My daughter now lives with me, but I can see all too much of that bitch in my daughter. My ex-mother-in-law from hell (Gail) is not unlike her daughter, Dee, just worse. Mean, nasty, unhappy, and took it out on everyone around her. Both were major causes, (among others), to the demise of my marriage.
THE TOP 5 WILL GET THEIR VERY OWN POSTS~ I started writing this essay in
early September of 2008. It didn’t take long at all to recap the ‘honorable mentions.’ It is taking me much longer to finish the top 5. These 5 assholes have done more to shape the events of my life than all the previously mentioned assholes put together. Sometimes I think they’ve had more influence over my life than even my parents!
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